I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
