Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
