Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
we made out on top of his cat.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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