Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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