A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Well I just put wine in my tea
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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