and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
