Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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