And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
