Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
