we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
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