just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
