just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
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