i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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