It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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