is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
