Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
