I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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