i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
