ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
