Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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