Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize
