i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
