Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
