Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
