my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
