Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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