Please, let me fuck your mom
so let's talk penis.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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