I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
So here I am, sexting at work.
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