that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
He's on the porch naked. Help.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
