I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
