A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
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