i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Randomize
