Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
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