I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
