So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
