he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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