this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
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