Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
