I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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