i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
