so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
