Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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