We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
