you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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