do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
