dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Randomize
