Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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