Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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