he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i used baking grease as lip gloss
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
