What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Randomize
